要幽默的,

要幽默的,
要幽默的,

要幽默的,
英汉对照幽默小短语
Money is not everything.There's Mastercard & Visa.
钞票不是万能的,有时还需要信用卡.
One should love animals.They are so tasty.
每个人都应该热爱动物,因为它们很好吃.
Love the neighbor.But don't get caught.
要用心去爱你的邻居,不过不要让她的老公知道.
Behind every successful man,there is a woman.And behind every unsuccessful man,there are two.
每个成功男人的背后都有一个女人,每个不成功男人的背后都有两个女人.
Every man should marry.After all,happiness is not the only thing in life.
再快乐的单身汉迟早也会结婚,幸福不是永久的嘛.
The wise never marry,and when they marry they become otherwise.
聪明人都是未婚的,结婚的人很难再聪明起来.
Success is a relative term.It brings so many relatives.
成功是一个相关名词,他会给你带来很多不相关的亲戚（联系）.
Never put off the work till tomorrow what you can put off today.
不要等明天交不上差再找借口,今天就要找好.
Love is photogenic.It needs darkness to develop.
爱情就象照片,需要大量的暗房时间来培养.
Children in backseats cause accidents.Accidents in backseats cause children.
后排座位上的小孩会生出意外,后排座位上的意外会生出小孩.
"Your future depends on your dreams." So go to sleep.
"现在的梦想决定着你的将来",所以还是再睡一会吧.
There should be a better way to start a day than waking up every morning.
应该有更好的方式开始新一天,而不是千篇一律的在每个上午都醒来.
"Hard work never kills anybody." But why take the risk?"
努力工作不会导致死亡!"不过我不会用自己去证明.
"Work fascinates me." I can look at it for hours!"
工作好有意思耶!"尤其是看着别人工作.
God made relatives; Thank God we can choose our friends.
神决定了谁是你的亲戚,幸运的是在选择朋友方面他给了你留了余地.
When two‘s company,three's the result!
两个人的状态是不稳定的,三个人才是!
A dress is like a barbed fence.It protects the premises without restricting the view.
服饰就象铁丝网,它阻止你冒然行动,但并不妨碍你尽情地观看.
The more you learn,the more you know,The more you know,the more you forget.The more you forget,the less you know.So why bother to learn.
学的越多,知道的越多,知道的越多；忘记的越多,忘记的越多；知道的越少,为什么学来着?!

One day a visitor from the city came to a small rural area to drive around the country roads, see how the farms looked, and perhaps to see how farmers earned their living.The city man saw a farmer in ...

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One day a visitor from the city came to a small rural area to drive around the country roads, see how the farms looked, and perhaps to see how farmers earned their living.The city man saw a farmer in his yard, holding a pig up in his hands, and lifting it so that the pig could eat apples from an apple tree.The city man said to the farmer, "I see that your pig likes apples, but isn't that quite a waste of time?"The farmer replied, "What's time to a pig?"
一天，有一个城市里的游客来到一个小乡村，在乡间路上开着车，想看看农庄是什么样子，也想看看农夫怎样种田过日子。这位城里人看见一位农夫在宅后的草地上，手中抱着一头猪，并把它举得高高的，好让它能够吃到树上的苹果。城里人对农夫说，"我看你的猪挺喜欢吃苹果的，但是，这不是很浪费时间吗?"那位农夫回答说，"时间对猪有什么意义?"
One girl went to the preacher and confessed her sin.
Girl: Father, I have sinned.
Preacher: What did you do, little girl?
Girl: Yesterday, I called a man a son of a Bitch.
Preacher: Why? What did he do to you?
Girl: He touched my breast.
Preacher: You mean like this? (The guy did it.)
Girl: (A little shy from the touch) Yes.
Preacher: That's no reason to call him that.
Girl: But he also took off my cloth.
Preacher: You mean like this? (He did it again.)
Girl: Yes, that's what he did.
Preacher: That's still no reason to call him that.
Girl: And he put his you-know-what into my you-know-what...
Preacher: (evil laugh...) You mean like this? (And you-know-what)
Girl: (After a few minutes...) Ugh... Yeah, that's what he did...
Preacher: My dear girl, that's still no reason to call him a...
Girl: But he had AIDS!!
Preacher: THAT SON OF A BITCH!!!
Where is the father?
Two brothers were looking at some beautiful paintings.
"Look," said the elder brother. "How nice these paintings are!"
"Yes," said the younger, "but in all these paintings there is only the mother and the children. Where is the father?"
The elder brother thought for a moment and then explained, "Obviously he was painting the pictures."
父亲在哪儿？
兄弟俩在看一些漂亮的油画。
“看，”哥哥说，“这些画多漂亮呀！”
“是啊，”弟弟说道，“可是在所有这些画中，只有妈妈和孩子。那爸爸去哪儿了呢？”
哥哥想了会儿，然后解释道：“很明显，他当时正在画这些画呗。”
The poor husband
"You can't imagine how difficult it is for me to deal with my wife," the man complained to his friend. "She asks me a question, then answers it herself, and after that she explained to me for half an hour why my answer is wrong.
可怜的丈夫
“你根本无法想象和我妻子打交道是多么的难，”一个男人对他的朋友诉苦说，“她问我一个问题，然后自己回答了，过后又花半个小时跟我解释为什么我的答案是错的。”
Does the dog know the proverb, too?
The little boy did not like the look of the barking dog.
"It's all right," said a gentleman, "don't be afraid. Don't you know the proverb: Barking dogs don't bite?"
"Ah, yes," answered the little boy. "I know the proverb, but does the dog know the proverb, too?"
狗也知道这个谚语吗？
一个小男孩非常不喜欢狗狂叫的样子。
“没有关系，”一位先生说，“不用害怕，你知道这条谚语吗：‘吠狗不咬人。’”
“啊，我是知道，可是狗也知道吗？”

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